Ups and downs is what I feel like writing about today. How is it that we can feel so passionate about painting for a period of time and suddenly fall into the twilight zone where we dont feel like picking up a brush and getting out the paints. Of course its natural to really feel passionate at first because we've discovered something new and it fills us with a new energy. When I first seriously started painting in app 2007 I couldnt put the brush down. I was in my studio ever free minute I had. I own an A/V company and was always busy working that almost daily, then coming home, spending some time with my wife, then heading upstairs to paint till 3 and 4 am.
I did learn a whole lot during that time but by 2013 the great energy began to fade. I began wondering if maybe the fear of not painting something better than what I had done was behind this. My wife told me I was really starting to make a business out of it and that that was contributing to my lack of passion. Maybe so. That was true 100%. My plan was to get my paintings in as many markets as I could and hopefully the sales would rise and I'd be able to retire from the A/V installation business within a few years. While sales are OK, they're not near what they need to be for me to retire. Even if sales did pick up a lot I'd still be reluctant to quit the A/V business because that income is very good and I assume would be more consistent than selling paintings.
I think at some point, all highly successful artists have to resort to teaching workshops, writing books, etc. to keep enough money flowing in. So it has to become a job at some point because you have to put food on the table on a consistent basis. Ok, if you dont have a family and no one else to support then Im sure the pressure is much less and maybe you're more free to create. You dont have to think about putting the kids thru college, the multiple car payments, your daughters ballet outfit and shoes, your son's soccer outfit, the added health insurance costs, and the list goes on and on.
Its funny how sometimes I leave the house for work or somewhere else and I strongly feel like I want to paint. I wonder "Why am I getting this feeling now when I can't do it." Why am OI being teased with this feeling? So I make myself a promise and commit to get to the easel that evening or the next day and whether I want to or not at the time, start work on a painting. Either fixing up one that needs attention or starting on a new one. After I start, within a few minutes, Im totally into it and everything else is gone from my mind. I connect and Im there for hours never realizing 4 or 5 hours have gone by. I look at what I've done and usually feel good about it. If not, at least I see I learned something and that in itself is always good. More on this later...